Panic! In the Host Club
by crossover king
Summary: Kaname has been invited to be accepted to Ouran, the prestigious school for the rich and famous. Of course Sousuke goes too. Showing how far he is willing to go to protect Kaname Tamaki invites him to the host club
1. Prolouge

Its been awile since I last updated any fics. To tell you the truth its because of alot of things. I had more than 10 new games including Assassins Creed 2, gone through several free to play MMO's watched a crapload of anime, and my computer crashed and I didn't have it or internet access for close to two weeks.

I'm still not getting the creative edge but I felt like doing this for fun.

"Speaking"

_"thinking"_

**_NOW LETS GOOO!!!!_**

* * *

"You are moving?" Sousuke said turning to Kaname.

"Yup I'm leaving in about a week." Kaname said.

Kaname had been accepted at a predigious school called "Ouran" which was mostly for the rich and famous of Japan.

"Hmm." Sousuke let out.

"Oh, Kaname I'm going to miss you!" Kyoko said holding Kaname in a tight bear hug.

"Hey we're gonna still stay friends aren't we?" Kaname said smiling.

Kyoko sniffed a bit but was smiling.

Kaname gave everyone a smile as they told her how much they were going to miss her, all except Sousuke.

Kyoko saw this and was less than happy.

"Souske aren't you sad?" She glared at him.

"I do not see why, considering I will be going to the same school." Sousuke said going back to reading his war book.

Kyoko was confused "But your test scores aren't that good."

In fact Sousuke was just above failing, except in P.E. where he excelled.

Sousuke didn't reply.

_A Week later_

A blue haired girl in a yellow dress appeared at the school gates

"So this is the predigious Ouran Academy." Kaname said looking around and sighed "It's going to be real different without my friends or Sousuke."

"You called Miss Chidori?" A familiar voice said from behind her.

Kaname jumped around and saw Sousuke in a black school uniform.

"Sousuke what the hell are you doing here!" Kaname yelled taking out her paper fan and wacking Sousuke with it.

"I have been transferred to this school in order to protect you Miss Chidori." Sousuke said monotone as always.

"How did you, never mind Mithril right? Well fine whats your class?"

"Class 2-A." Sousuke said.

'Wait isn't that my...' Kaname simply let the matter go.

"Fine just, don't be so high strung."

"I will work on that ma'am." Sousuke said standing straight.

Kaname sighed "Come on lets go before class starts."

In a couple of minutes they came to their class room.

"Well this is it Sousuke." Kaname said looking at the door.

"Indeed Ma'am." Sousuke confirmed.

"Jeesh your so uptight. Well here it goes." Kaname opened the door.

In the classroom there was quite a few people.

Most of the guys were either chatting with each other, playing games, or simply waiting.

The girls were all crowded around either a rather pretty, _'scratch that'_, Kaname noticed, _'he was downright handsom' _boy with blond hair who was smiling at them, or another handsom boy with black hair and glasses who was writing in a journal.

The blond one saw the two came in and stars filled his eyes.

"Excuse me my princesses I believe we have two new classmates." the blond said smiling at them as he started standing.

This drew the attention of everyone.

Kaname froze "Uh..."

The blond smiled at her "Please don't be nervous I am Tamaki. I am from the illustrious host..." He was stopped because he had touched Kaname's shoulder one moment and found himself in an arm lock by Sousuke who had a gun to his head.

"Sousuke what are you doing!?" Kaname shouted as everyone except the dark haired boy looked on stunned.

"He touched your shoulder Ma'am, this was obviously a hostile action on his part." Sousuke said.

"You idiot he was being friendly!" Kaname shouted bashing Sousuke upside the head and making him release Tamaki.

"Hey! How dare you attack Tamaki!" A girl shouted.

"Yeah he is...he is...whoa." The other girl was distracted as Sousuke turned to them.

"He...he's gorgious!" the first girl shouted.

"I love his eyes." Another girl said.

"Girl forget his eyes look at his body!" said another.

Sousuke started to sweat '_Their looks, they look like Gauron." _

"You." Tamaki said standing up his hair obscuring his eyes "You grabbed me, twisted my arm, and held a gun to my head."

"That is correct." Sousuke said.

Kaname smacked him "Don't say it so proudly!"

"And you did it for this girl's protection?" Tamaki said his voice a low growl.

"That is also correct." Sousuke said looking straight forward.

Tamaki started to tremble then "You are a true man amongst men!" Tamaki looked up with new respect in his eyes.

"Wha?" Was on the face of everyone present.

"You were willing to risk everything for the sake of a girl, I have not seen that much spirit in a long while, I am Tamaki Suoh at your service." Tamaki said bowing.

"Seargent Sousuke Sagara, Sir." Sousuke snapped to attention.

"You also look like the type of man for my organization." Tamaki said appraising him

The black haired boy froze "Tamaki, your not going to..."

Tamaki turned to him "Yes Kyouya I am, Sousuke Sagara I wish to invite you to Ouran's prestigious High School Host Club."

"Wait what?" Kaname asked.

"I Sousuke Sagara accept your proposal Suoh-san." Sousuke said snapping to attention."

* * *

BEHOLD! THE UNHOLY UNION OF MY MINDS WORK. So ya this story is going to be less story guided as my others, its going to be like a single plot for like every chapter or two. I'll update it if I just feel like having fun.

Peace out.


	2. The hosts

So I've been watching the old Gundam series thanks to this Dynasty Warriors Gundam I got right now I'm watching Zeta gundam, and I need to say this, I don't like the AUEG, They preach how they want to save the Earth's environment by getting people off the Earth, cool. A few episodes later they are going to drop a Nuclear bomb on their enemy base which they said themeselves would ruin the local environment...yah, and this is without going into how f**ked they were in the DM: G game where I can't go into that without spewing forth an entire page of crap.

But forget that.

ONWARD MORTALS! ON WITH THE STORY!!!

* * *

Sousuke found himself following Tamaki to the Host Club with Kaname tagging along. Tamaki had nearly dragged him but found himself with a face of gun barrel for his trouble.

Tamaki stopped at a door marked "3rd Music Room"

"Welcome my friends to the Host Club" Tamaki opened the door and light filtered through along with petals.

"Hmm a flash bang perhaps." Sousuke muttered reaching for his gun.

And he saw a very large room with several people inside, two twins, the glasses guy, a little kid, a very girly boy, and a giant.

"Hey Tamaki who are these two?" one of the twins said appraising him with a glance.

"Did Tama-chan bring someone to play with?" The little kid said jumping with joy.

"This my fellow host members is Sousuke Sagara, he will be a new Host member and this is Kaname Chidori."

Kaname smiled awkwardly "Hey."

Sousuke straightened up "Sergeant Sousuke Sagara reporting for duty sirs!" He said eyes straight ahead.

"Well, he is uh...enthusiastic." Said one of the twins.

"Hi i'm Kaoru and this is Hikaru." Said the twin known now as Kaoru said.

"How about we-" said one.

"-Play a little game?" said the other.

"Negative sirs." Sousuke said still keeping his eyes straight ahead

Suddenly the little kid jumped in front of Kaname waving his bunny at her.

There was a sudden burst of movement and Sousuke was one the ground being held by the giant.

"Kaname run! They are initializing a surprise attack, the rabbit obviously has explosives inside!"

"Hi I'm Mitsukuni Haninozuka, but you can call me Hunny Kana-chan." The little kid said smiling at her

Sousuke froze his thoughts racing in his head and bowed his head "I, I am sorry Miss Chidori I will not be able to protect you from him he is Haninozuka the Hurricane, know for his skills, I am no match for him. I have failed."

"Uh, you idiot." Kaname said face palming.

"Come on let him go Taka-chan." Hunny said smiling.

"This is Morinozuka Takashi he is our silent type." Tamaki said Mori nodded.

"Finally we have my dau...son Haruhi Fujioka." Tamaki said catching himself before he let out the secret.

"Nice to meet you Sagara-san." Haruhi said handing out her hand.

"Sergeant Sousuke Sagara Ma'am." He saluted.

"It's really good to meet you Haruhi." Kaname said taking her hand.

"Good, good you've all met, hello I am Kyouya, we have met now let us continue" The one with glasses said frustrated.

"Oh yes well Sousuke you must first show us how good you are with the young ladies." Tamaki said smiling.

Sousuke froze "S...Sir what do you mean?"

Tamaki looked at him a little amused "Why, how will you be a host if you cannot entertain ladies?"

Sousuke started to sweat.

Kaname sighed "He's not all that great with...girls."

Tamaki turned white with shock and started crying "Oh what a cruel world that one with such looks as Sousuke does not know how to entertain ladies."

"Couldn't we, I don't know, teach him?" Haruhi said.

Tamaki froze, then stood with new determination "Yes it is a wondrous Idea Haruhi, my wonderful child."

"Sousuke." Tamaki barked with authority.

"Yes sir!" Sousuke said straightening up.

"We shall teach you how to be a proper host member."

"Right I'll just go." Kaname said not wanting to see what would happen.

"Haruhi we need you to dress like a girl so that..." "No."Tamaki wasn't able to finish before he was cut off by Haruhi.

Tamaki started to cry "Mama! Our child isn't listening to me!"

Kyouya sighed "Then find some other way to do it. Renge is too busy at the moment so we will have to try another way."

The twins started to cackle "Have we got an idea" they said simultaneously.

_30 minutes later_

Mori was dressed in drag and was staring down at Sousuke.

"Now Sousuke pretend that Mori was a woman and try those lines we have rehearsed." Tamaki said trying to ignore the laughter of the twins behind him.

Sousuke nodded and looked to Mori "Hello there my princess of beauty." he said in a monotone, devoid of all emotion.

"Mmmm." Mori grunted.

"Continue Sou-chan! You can do it Taka-Chan!" Hunny shouted encouragements to them.

Sousuke tried again "You are my life flower of my unending happiness." He said once again in monotone.

"Hmm." Mori grunted.

"Hmm this isn't working, Sousuke try some on your own." Tamaki called to him.

Sousuke looked paralyzed for a second then tried again "You make me happy like a Mac-10 handgun with a silencer and laser sight." he said with a monotone.

'_what'_ Tamaki couldn't understand what he's saying. "Hmm, I know what to do! Kyouya close the Host Club for today."

_The next day_

Kaname was walking to the host club to see how the lessons had gone. As she was walking to the 3rd music room she heard two girls talking.

"Did you hear? they have a new Host Club member." a girl said to her friend.

"Yeah he is apparently the 'soldier' type." her friend said.

"I heard he was real cute!" Said the other giggling.

"Good grief I can't believe people are really interested in this Host Club stuff" Kaname said shaking her head.

"Tell me about it." a voice said behind her.

Kaname turned and saw Haruhi there smiling at her.

"Hey you are Haruhi aren't you?"

"Yup I'm on my way to the Host Club right now so if you want you could join me."

"I was headed there myself so I could check up on Sousuke."

They talked peacefully with each other until they got to the room.

Kaname walked in and was amazed at how many girls there were in the room just now.

"Ah, Haruhi you are needed hurry on." Kyouya said to Haruhi.

As soon as Haruhi was gone Kyouya turned to Kaname "You may look but only look unless you are willing to pay for a host which costs 97390 yen in which case you will then meet with your prefered host it costs four times as much for a private meeting, if you need anything just ask me, but don't do it just to see me or you won't be allowed back." Kyouya explained the rules of the club to her.

Kaname looked around and saw Sousuke sitting with four other girls. He didn't look that comfortable.

She decided to see how he handled being a host.

"So Sousuke-Kun how is it being in the host club." A girl said to him.

"I..It's going well Ma'am." Sousuke said.

"You know you have real pretty eyes Sousuke?" another girl said.

"I, have been told that yes ma'am." Sousuke replied.

"You seem rather nervous Sous-kun" The first teased.

"No ma'am I am ready to...entertain you ladies." Sousuke said sweating.

"Oh you are cute." yet another girl gushed.

Kaname giggled a bit at Sousuke's expense.

"Isn't Sousuke being such a great host." a suave familiar voice said in her ear.

Kaname turned and saw Tamaki was watching Sousuke in admiration.

"It is good to know that my son is willing to go beyond his comfort zone in order to please our guests." Tamaki said with a slight flourish

"You know you're pretty weird." Kaname said raising her eyebrows.

Tamaki smiled "That we all are, Kaname-chan." Tamaki took her hand and kissed it.

Kaname blushed and smiled turning to look back at Sousuke who looked like he was about to feint from how close the girls were getting "A little weirdness isn't so bad."

Tamaki looked at her with amusement "You like him do you not?"

Kaname turned an interesting shade of red and Tamaki found himself on the floor with Kaname holding a paper fan.

"I Don't like him, Okay!" She yelled.

"Huh where'd he go?" the girls behind her said.

"Kaname is there a problem." Sousuke said appearing right next to her with a gun in hand.

"No Sousuke just go back to the girls I'm alright." Kaname said sighing.

Sousuke nodded and turned back to the girls and groaned a bit.

Tamaki chuckled a bit "He does seem to care about you a great deal however you feel about him."

Kaname turned away from him "Idiot" but she did have a small smile on her face.

Tamaki rubbed his chin 'Interesting.'

* * *

Well that's this chapter,

I'm trying to get back into fanfiction a bit at a time, first I'm going to update this story a bit.


	3. Operation: MATCHMAKER

nothing to say here...no witty remarks or anything just the story  
-

Tamaki called a host club meeting for everyone but Sousuke.

"Boss, why are we here?" Hikaru asked.

Tamaki smiled"We are here to talk about the feelings of Miss Kaname and our fellow Host member Sousuke Sagara." Tamaki announced.

"Right we're leaving." Hikaru and Kaoru both said turning to leave.

"Wait! Don't you care about the blossoming love of our fellow host member?" Tamaki said a sudden breeze making his hair flow.

"Where does that wind come from." Haruhi wondered.

"That isn't the point Haruhi, the point is that obviously the young love of youth is happening between Sousuke and Kaname, but both are too thick headed to attempt to be together." Sparkles were appearing behind Tamaki "What say you men shall we attempt to get Kaname and Sousuke to admit their feelings?"

Haruhi shook her head "I don't think we should be deciding who should get with who if they like each other then they'll just get together by themselves."

"No I don't think so-" Kaoru started. "Wait brother...this could be fun." Hikaru said grinning "Oh your right." They both cackled evilly "We're both in." They say simulataniously

"I think Kana-chan and Sou-chan have feelings for each other and they would make a cute couple, count me in!" Hunny said smiling.

Mori nodded, as always agreeing to whatever Hunny wanted

Kyouya shook his head "You all may decide what to do but I'm out."

"Then it is decided those of us who will attempt it shall now start planning Operation: Matchmaker."

As the others were planning to get Kaname and Sousuke together Haruhi and Kyouya left.

"Do you think they can actually do it?" Haruhi asked Kyouya.

Kyouya scoffed "That Sousuke guy seems to be even more thick headed then Tamaki, and Miss Kaname seems to be even more stubborn then them both." he wrote a bit more into his book then continued.

"The chance of their plans working are close to zero."

Haruhi hummed her agreement.

The next day

Sousuke walked into the Host Club and suddenly found himself being pulled by someone.

Sousuke was about to pull out a pistol until he saw who it was.

"H, Hunny-Senapi is there something you need from me sir?" Sousuke asked.

Hunny smiled "Do you like cake Sou-chan?"

"With all due respect sir cake isn't the best to be eating, the icing itself is fattening and can be counter productive when out in the field.

Hunny froze and turned to him his face was smiling but there was murderous intent coming from him.

"Don't talk bad about cake around me, Sou-chan."

Sousuke was rather proud he didn't feint "Y, y, yes s, sir."

Suddenly the murderous intent was gone "Good! Now lets go get some cake."

Sousuke found himself sitting at a table in a rather high class cafe.

"Now you wait here for a second Sou-chan."

"Yes sir." Sousuke said taking a seat.

"Okay!" Hunny called running off.

A couple of minutes later Hunny came back with Kaname.

"Uhm Sousuke whats going on?"

"Frankly ma'am, I don't really know." Sousuke said with a slight note of puzzlement in his voice.

"Oh hey guys I need to go now soo...see you." Hunny said with barely held excitement then whizzed off.

"So are you ready to order?" The waitress said bringing out her pen and notepad.

"Oh yes, uhm." Kaname consorted a menu for a second "I'll take the Fillet Mignogn with a salad, and green tea please."

The waitress wrote it down and looked to Sousuke.

"I do not require sustanance at this moment." He said still ridged.

The waitress shrugged and turned to fill out the order.

Across the room Tamaki was dressed with a wig that looked like it came from a mop, wore lipstick, and had shades on. He was sitting with Hunny who had a comically over large moustache, and Mori who wore his usual stoic expression but had on a colorful propeller beani hat and stripped shirt.

Outside the Cafe Hikaru and Kaoru were scaring the people outside by laughing at how the three looked.

"K...Kaoru...this...this is the best...oh..AHAHAHAHA." he said his eyes full of tears.

Kaoru was on the sidewalk holding his sides laughing.

"Will this plan work Hunny-senpai?" Tamaki said doing what he thought was discreet glances towards the couple.

"Of course, this place serves great cake, so they will be happy with each other." Hunny said smiling.

"Can I take your orders?" came a voice.

"Wuaaa." Tamaki jumped and his chair fell backwards.

The waitress looked down at him with a raised eyebrow "What'll you be having sir?"

Tamaki quickly got up and cleared his throat putting on a ridiculously high voice "Oh no you have it wrong I am a woman and this is my husband and my son."

Hunny started to talk in a fake low voice attempting to sound older "Why yes, this is my wife and I we are out on a romantic trip...thing."

Mori looked at her and held up his hand "hello."

The waitress opened her mouth to ask, thought about it for a second and closed her mouth deciding against it.

"Alright what will you be having, now?"

"Cake!" Hunny said shouting in excitement."

The waitress nodded "What kind?"

"All of it."

The waitress paused "All of it?" she looked up shocked.

Hunny nodded happily.

"Yup."

"...ok and you si...madam?"

"A cup of Earl Grey, and you're Matelote de poissons d'Alsace." Tamaki said.

The waitress left to get the orders.

"That was rather embarrassing." Tamaki said sitting back down.

"It looks like Kana-chan and Sous-chan don't suspect its us though." said Hunny.

"Why are Hunny-senpai and Tamaki here?" Kaname asked looking at the two.

"I assume they are here to monitor us incase of an enemy attack." Sousuke replied.

Kaname sighed "Why do I ask."

"Heres your order." The waitress said coming up with Kaname's food.

Kaname rubbed her hands together looking hungrily at her food.

Picking up her fork she stabs at her food.

Sousuke quietly watches her eat the food.

"Your food sir?" the waitress says bringing the cakes out for Hunny.

"Yaaaaay!" Hunny says and begins to devour the cakes and finishes a few seconds later his belly bulging.

"aaaah...hehe thank you." Hunny says smiling cheerfully.

"Remember to brush your teeth...you don't want a repeat of what happened last time." Mori said.

Hunny froze and turned white a bit, he then swallowed the piece of cake in his mouth and nodded "y...yes"

Kaname finishes her fillet mignogn and sighs in happiness.

Sousuke looks at her "ready to leave miss kaname?"

She smiles at Sousuke "yeah sure...mmm that was delicious."

"It was my pleasure miss kaname." Sousuke says taking out his wallet and paying the bill.

"Compliment her on her appearance Sousuke." Tamaki whispers to himself chewing on his napkin.

"Never...in all my years have I ever seen a less romantic man." Tamaki says gnawing on his napkin.

"I promise this Sousuke I WILL make you a proper gentleman!"

"Your bill." the waitress says handing Tamaki a little piece of paper.

Tamaki looks down, and promptly face faults at the amout it costs.

"Its your treat right Tamaki? Well thank you for the cake see you later." Hunny says smiling as Mori picks him up, setting him on his shoulders, and they leave the cafe.

"Hu...hunny sempai...w...wait the...the amount is far too much for the current amount I have on me." Tamaki says tears in his eyes.

"hmm hmm." the Waitress says, a sense of foreboding fills Tamaki up.

Tamaki panics and starts to check himself and brightens up and takes out a credit card with a flourish.

"Not to worry miss I can pay for the meal I am not some common beggar." Tamaki says posing with his hand brushing through his hair.

"We don't accept credit cards..." She says simply.

Tamaki freezes in place.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" could be be heard for miles around.

Kaname looked back to see where the noise had come from.

She and Sousuke were taking a taxi back to their apartments and she had heard a noise coming from somewhere in the distance.

"Sosuke did you hear something?"

"Affirmative miss...it sounded like someone shouting a negative." He said staring straight ahead.

Kaname raises an eyebrow then sighs, deciding to forget about it.

* * *

Whats a ouran fan fic without Tamaki crossdressing?


End file.
